Are you getting in your own way?
July 23rd, a new moon has just been spat out into the universe and I'm feeling a tad shaky after a night out on the tiles (approx. 4 standard drinks and a 1am curfew). I managed to pull off a surprise birthday dinner for one of the bezzos without a hitch. As I write this, she's asleep on the couch with a flannel on her head and empty guts, but gosh she looks cute.
Now I can't call myself a lunar expert, or even a lunar novice, but I'm definitely aware that there's been some freaky deeky moon shit happening over the past weeks and tensions have been running high. This week for me has been the perfect shit storm of anxiety, body image issues and mindless eating. But instead of blaming it on hormones, or stress, or my Uncle's next door neighbours' cat passing away (because, we'll look for any excuse, right?), I'm taking the information that these emotions and sneaky habits are telling me, getting curious about why they are showing up and letting them run their course. I know I harp on about this but emotions are just energy in motion. If treated correctly, they last about 15 minutes in the body before they peace out. There's been some really shitty 'life stuff' happening to some of my friends lately, and I'm still learning the delicate balance of holding space whilst not giving too much of my energy away.
I sense that women have been feeling the moon vibes moreso than men (or is that because we're more in touch with our feelings? Can't be sure). Good news friends; it's all about to change with our shiny new moon. If you're interested in getting schooled up on lunar cycles and how they affect us from someone who doesn't just excuse all ineffective thought and behavioural patterns with "it's the moon!", then check out Emma Mildon or Dr Ezzie Spencer because they actually know a thing or two.
Speaking of moons - anyone tried mooncups? That's next on my list of fun things to try this month because I love the environment and also doing shit that scares me. If you are an experienced mooncupper, let me know in the comments below how you got on and that you didn't end up in the ER because have you seen the size of those things?
Time for some real talk.
To some extent or another, unless you've reached enlightenment you are no doubt getting in your own way in some area - or multiple areas - of your life. That might look like: not stepping into your purpose, not achieving your health and fitness goals, not attracting a loving partner, not cultivating new friendships and not elevating your career. This happens because we are stuck in our heads and not leading with our hearts, or, as in a lot of cases, if we're trying to live another persons version of our ideal life. This generally happens in childhood through conditioning from our parents and school teachers. Do this, do that. Be this, don't be that. My dad wants me to marry an englishman but that is absolutely not going to happen. In what areas of your life are you doing what your parents thought was best for you? Does if feel somewhat disempowering?
Our heads are where our habits live - the effective and ineffective ones - but our hearts or our bodies are where we can interrupt, divert, and break those habits. But we don't, because we let our heads - which have been conditioned to keep repeating the habits - take charge. But your head must know best, right? Nope. Our brains don't know the difference between the truth and an idea. So there's an idea or negative self-talk, or maybe someone has told you that you can't achieve something, and that becomes ingrained in your head until it's a habit. Remember, your head doesn't know the difference between the truth and an idea. Your heart, your body, knows the truth. (Guys, did I mention I'm a neuroscientist, now?) If you get light-headed and breathless, you're probably in your head.
For most of my adult life, I have been in my head - over-thinking, overanalysing, lashing out, getting frustrated, experiencing depression and anxiety, convincing myself I'm not enough. It's a constant battle and as I've already touched on from my own experience this week, can flare up at any time (it's the moon!!), but it's all just information and it's all perfect. Through working with a spiritual healer and daily meditation - I've dusted the cobwebs off the old heartspace and it's taking the lead. After all, the best way out is through. As my boy Tony Robbins says "Stay in your head, you're dead." (Please don't be dead). The two best ways that I have found to get out of my head, and into my heart are meditation and dancing. 1 Giant Mind is my current go-to meditation app and twerking is my go to morning dance genre of choice.
I'm speaking to so many people lately - both coaching clients and friends - and a consistent theme is "I wish I could do, or I intended to do x, but y". And the y is typically another weak excuse cloaked in a human skin suit of the person saying it.
You know how this goes: "I wish I'd gone to the gym today, but I don't want to have to wash my hair again." "I'll start dating again when I lose 5kgs." "I was only going to have one glass of wine and now I'm getting my stomach pumped." "I can't exercise because it's too cold."
My personal favourite (and personal demon). "I was trying to eat really healthy today, but then Simon opened a bag of chips." Um, unless Simon was holding a fucking gun to your head, you chose to eat those chips. You're in charge here; get out of your own way, stop blaming other people, scenarios and things and take responsibility for your choices. You hold the power so stop giving it away to situations that don't serve you.
I'm currently coaching a group of my colleagues in a 12 week challenge which we're calling 'The Biggest Loser', but it's about so much more than weight loss. I can already see I have my work cut out for me as they are operating with years of conditioning and habit, but I'm bloody excited to break them and see them on the other side.
If you would like my help getting out of your head, leading with your heart and crushing some life goals, send me an email so I can let you know when my coaching program opens.
ALSO! I am hosting an event in Auckland with my friend Kristy Von Minden later this year which I haven't really started promoting yet because the whole idea of it terrifies me and I'm not entirely sure what I want to speak about, BUT, remember when I said in my last post that leaning into your fear was fun?! The event will be a mini retreat for the mind, body & soul as we farewell winter and welcome spring - we'll be talking about anxiety, stress, sleep, limiting beliefs, mindset, mooncups maybe? Send me an email if you'd like the 411.
If you're interested in the above event, or in hearing about other wellness events happening in Auckland, and you want to vibe with like-minded people in the wellness industry, join my group over on facey: Secret Wellness Society. There's some epic humans in there.
I love you. Do yourself a favour and get out of your head, and into your heart. Peace.