MONDAY PEP TALK | How to know when it's time to hit the RESET button on life
Here’s your latest Monday Pep Talk…
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You may be in total denial (like me) that we only have 3 months left of 2019. Crazy!
How has this year gone for you?
How are you feeling in your body?
How are your relationships?
Do you enjoy the career you're in?
Are you happy?
It's no surprise that I've had more people than usual reaching out to me these past few weeks saying "something just doesn't feel right". "I need support."
And I applaud these people because asking for help is not easy. If you're kiwi or aussie you've been imprinted with the "she'll be right" mentality. There's no shame in asking for help. In fact, it's incredibly freeing. The people I connect with most are those who have a level of self-awareness to say - "I'm struggling, and I don't want to stay here."
Why is it important to reset?
Because, ineffective habits and patterns are just that - ineffective. Yet most of us feel as if we're stuck and that "that's the way it's always going to be". "That's just how I'm wired."
Staying stuck is a choice.
The only difference between people who achieve their goals and those who don't is the ones who did made different choices, over and over.
A pattern only sticks for the duration that you keep making the same choices. So with that in mind, if you want something different - better health, more money, deeper relationships, a new career - you only have to make a choice to reset the old patterns.
We all have blindspots that we're not willing to see. I have a client right now who is the CEO of a nationwide organisation in NZ. She came to me because she wanted to lose weight and gain more energy. What we have actually unearthed together, a few sessions in, is where she's not stepping into her self-worth - both in the workplace and with her family. The weight issue is merely a symptom; a defence mechanism that she's created to keep herself safe. And this is manifesting itself as imposter syndrome. Now that she's addressing this, she's feeling fully empowered with her health and so much more energised.
But she wouldn't have been able to see this on her own because her patterns ran deep. She never thought to question her beliefs or her boundaries. I spot it pretty quickly now. She just needed someone to give her permission to reset her old ways of thinking and create new habits and beliefs, which is what we're now doing together.
How do we hit the reset button?
Don't wait until January 1, 2020 to start over and hit reset. You know you won’t do shit. Don't wait til Monday. Start now. Start with one 30 minute morning walk. Start with one green smoothie. Start with one courageous conversation. Start with unfollowing one dickhead on Instagram.
When you have what I call a 'then and when' mentality, you train your brain to only start healthy habits when things feel safe and easy. Aka major procrastination station.
We need to train our brains and bodies to do hard things. (Check out a blog post I wrote on this very topic.)
That thing that your body has been crying out for - book it in. That new exercise class you’ve been wanting to try - do it.
Want to call in a deeper sisterhood - reach out to someone on Instagram who inspires you. Some of my best friendships have come from Insta!
Want to call in a romantic relationship? Go on some dates!
When we do something that feels hard, or that we kinda didn’t think we’d actually do - we receive an intrinsic reward that gives us the motivation to stay on track and keep doing those things. Growth doesn’t happen within our comfort zones.
Creating new habits requires new neural loops to form in the brain. These new neural loops require REPETITION. You can’t go to one Pilates class and then take that as permission to eat a Big Mac. Some experts say that it takes 66 days for a new habit to form, so you’re in it for the long haul.
Here are a few other tips I recommend:
Stack your habits. Want to spend more time with your girlfriends but also get fit? Catch up over a mountain walk or a spin class.
Set boundaries. Tell your friends that you can no longer party on the weekend because you have new health goals that you are working towards.
Upgrade your environment. Surround yourself with people (both online and offline) who push you to be a better person, and remove anyone who doesn’t. Clear out everything in your room, house and car that doesn’t align to who or where you want to be. Your clutter holds energy. Energy takes up space. You need space to manifest great things.
Remove temptation. If you have health-based goals, remove the food in the pantry that isn’t supportive of those goals. Say no to the boozy night out with friends that will derail you.
Meditate. Daily meditation is the best way to develop a powerful, loving relationship with yourself, and to help facilitate the rewiring of ineffective subconscious beliefs. (I use and love Insight Timer).
Commit to 30 days of personal mastery. Here is a worksheet exercise that I get all of my clients to do. It’s fairly heavy and lengthy and requires an amount of discipline, but if you commit to this for 30 days - incredible things will begin to happen for you.