Who Am I And Why Am I Here?

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It came to me recently that I share a lot about my emotional journey, but I haven't really shared much of my nuts and bolts journey.... So here it is, extracted from my About page.

Attending a private girls school in Auckland, New Zealand up until the age of 16 when I called deuces on it, I had no idea what I wanted to do or be. I could have stayed for my seventh form year but I felt like a bit of an outsider. I hung around with the 'cool' crowd, but on the outskirts. Like, they new my name but I didn't really get invited to their beach houses. I was a middle class kid in a rich girl school; funny and endearing, but not super intelligent. Or as I like to call it - street smart.

I lived a bit of a double life. Attending this inner city, expensive private girls school during the week, and then wearing hoodies and riding my skateboard down Queen Street on the weekends. I plucked my eyebrows into obscurity and rubbed soap into my hair to form 'dreads'. I've never been as popular with the opposite sex than I was at 16. I hung around with a group of friends from the suburb where I lived and had spend my whole life (the one I've recently moved back to.)

So I left school just shy of my 17th birthday and on the advice of my grandmother who was funding my education (for which I am eternally grateful) and whose financial nous I absolutely didn't inherit, I earned a hospitality management diploma and worked in the hotel industry for a few years.

I was introduced to P (meth) somewhere in my first year of College, by my first love - a guy I dated on and off for a few years. Unbeknownst to me at the time, he was a drug dealer and would later flea the country with people chasing after him, eventually doing a couple of stints in prison. That didn't stop me from moving overseas to try and give things another shot though! Once I arrived, he didn't pick up my calls. For about a year and a half or more, I was regularly taking ecstacy, 'herbals' and smoking P. More often than not I would turn up to my shifts on the front desk of a hotel, with 3 hours of sleep under my belt and my teeth still grinding from the effects of the night before. I share this because it's our journey that shapes us and I own all parts of mine.

Despite having a lot of fun and cutting my teeth in the service industry; hospitality wasn't for me. I applied to be a flight attendant and f*cked the interview good and proper (now that's a story I'm too embarrassed to share). I moved to Sydney and worked for BlackBerry as an office manager, then moved into the marketing and PR team where I was paid well, I got to travel a lot, have new phones every month and attend fun events with international celebs. 

Maybe this was it?

It wasn't. 

At the time I didn't have a strategic bone in my body, and struggled to make executive decisions - an essential element of the role. Armed with a British passport from my father I moved to London & landed a role as an Executive Assistant (I lied on my CV to get the job); a role that I held for about 6 years since, both in Sydney and at home in Auckland. Despite not being my passion, it allowed me to work with some incredibly smart and strategic people at the head of organisations; and gave me a robustness and a fire in my belly that has laid the foundation for my coaching practice today. It's also shown me that sitting in front of a computer and wearing shoes for 8 hours a day is totes not my jam.

I've come a long way from living in a walk-in-wardrobe on the Gold Coast at age 20 (to living back at my mum's house at 34, LOL) and this journey, this website and blog, is a celebration of that. I am in this game of life, and I am obsessed with it. I want you to feel the same, so I'm going to be rooting for you all the way whether you're a friend, a client, or attending one of my retreats.

Nowadays I legit have to stop myself and ask how I got so lucky. I'm living a life on my own terms - recently leaving the corporate world to travel, coach, run retreats, speak at events and share my love of oils full-time. The only person I answer to is my mum when she asks what I want for dinner. I have the largest group of soul friends I could possibly imagine, who - if I'm feeling shitty - will encourage me to primal scream in my car at the traffic lights. We'll openly ask each other when we last ate or shat - as if that could be the answer to our woes. My mindset is one of growth and abundance, whereby previously I was fixed on victim mode. I had a pretty normal upbringing save for my parents' separation when I was 5, (oh and the drug thing and living on noodles for 6 months) but somewhere along the way my ego got the better of me and things went pear-shaped, emotionally. My anxiety reached its' peak at age 27 whilst living in London, where catching the tube was akin to sky-diving. It's something I still grapple with today and share openly about on this here blog. And just this week I was interviewed on RadioDrive Live about my anxiety journey and the beginnings of our Anxiety Anonymous event series!

I am obsessed with the human experience and with seeing others thrive; particularly women. Men are okay too, but women are just everything and I get them. It's time for us to rise. We're being called forward to own our power and fulfil a higher purpose than the one we'd resigned ourselves to, for fear we were not deserving of it. We can be and do and have it all. We can be mothers AND have kick-ass jobs. We can have careers AND travel the world. We can be health coaches AND eat cookies. We can be high vibin' PMA 24/7 AND fall apart and cry when we need a release. It's not an 'either or' game anymore.

I love learning about millennials and what they want and need to thrive. It's such a bloody exciting time to be alive and to have lived through such monumental change, momentum and the rise of the collective consciousness. I am so very excited, encouraged and humbled by the work that I do, baring witness to transformational change in others. Providing hope where there was previously none, and giving women permission to live really big lives.

We all came to this earth with a very specific purpose, and the fun part (for me, at least) is figuring that out. That's the work. Despite the millennial curse of wanting everything right now, we can't rush it. Why should we? I'm in this for the long game and I hope you are too.

Above it all, I'm just an adult-sized girl child with a really big mission on her heart. I want everybody to have access to the transformation that I went through. Your very own 'heroes journey'. I want you to know that even if you have a chequered past where you've taken drugs and abused your body and called other women ugly and made questionable choices with men and put your parents through the ringer -- you are still worthy and deserving of everything you could possibly want in this world. It's yours for the taking. Don't let this shit pass you by.

I want people to start believing that they are gifted, talented and unique, and they have everything they need inside of themselves. I want people to look in the mirror and love the face and the body staring back at them; and love the voice that they hear on their voicemail message and not fucking hate it like I used to. I want women to become comfortable with receiving and not feeling the need to give in return. I want women to move and nourish their bodies from a place of love and not fear. I want them to say an empowered 'no' to the f*ckboys. I want them to realise that we aren't our parents and we get to choose which attributes we inherit.

But most of all, I want us to all just join hands on this wild ride we're on, and start treating each other and the planet with the kindness and respect each deserves. We're here but for a short time, but it's also a really long time, so let's just all pinky promise that we'll stop wasting our energy on things and people that don't matter, okay? Ditch the crappy book. Ditch the friend who flakes on you 99% of the time. Scrap the project that your soul isn't singing about. 

Another thing that really spins my wheels is bringing women together which is why I'm excited to have launched my Bali retreats and Waihi retreats for that exact purpose. Sitting and connecting and breathing and stretching and sharing. It's golden. And we deserve it all.

Other things I'm currently into....living a chemical, low-tox, as organic as possible lifestyle with a minimal footprint on mother earth. That includes my make-up, skincare and products for my home - hence my recent obsession with essential oils. I'm into - what a lot of the un 'woke' would call - a lot of 'hippy shit'. I recently bought my first menstrual cup, which 5 years ago would have terrified the bejeezus out of me. I scrape my tongue every morning and lie on a shakti mat every night. I deeply vibe with mama earth and get out in nature as much as possible. I eat 80% plant-based but every now and then I'll eat a (humanely) pasture-raised steak -- particularly when it's moon time as I suffer from low iron and would rather a natural source than a supplement when possible. I believe in eating intuitively and supplementing where I'm lacking - particularly with the way modern agricultural has raped the minerals from our soil. 

I'm a bit of a walking contradiction. I have crystals, burn palo santo and incense, but I also really love gangster rap music. I'll eat salads alllll day and then find myself with my fist in a bag of potato chips. I don't watch TV but I love watching a Netflix doco. (Given is an insanely beautiful watch). I believe in love but I'm not currently dating. My biggest mantra is 'say yes and figure the rest out later.' Living that way has opened up some pretty life-changing experiences for me. Yoga is my exercise and my relaxation of choice, and by the end of 2019 I'll be a trained yoga teacher. I read a CRAZY amount of personal development books and am always listening to at least 6 podcasts at one time. My heroes are Peta Kelly, Gabrielle Bernstein and Jack Canfield. 

Above all else, I want you to know that I'm just really jazzed up on this life of mine. I know that I've consciously created everything that is and ever has been in my path. That's radical empowerment, my babes, and it's yours for the taking too. There's more than enough to go around for all of us.  

Despite being an introvert and needing to be alone for at least 20 hours of every day, I also loveeeee meeting new people who are authentic and purpose-driven and have a mission on their hearts, so if that's you, or if you'd just like to say hi - send me an email. Hopefully our paths will cross IRL one day soon at one of my events or retreats. Nothing beats that eyeball to eyeball interaction, so remember to disconnect to reconnect every now and then. You can build relationships outside of your iPhone, I promise. Remember to look up and live.

I get so excited when someone new messages me just to say 'hey'! The world is so cool like that and we need more people lifting each other up. After all, you can't see in someone what you don't see in yourself.

And I'd love to connect with you on the other socials. Facebook, Instagram and now YouTube.